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1221
Now I know what I want for Christmas. (twitter.com) 🚫  1984  🚫
posted 105 days ago by GetWokeGetBroke 105 days ago by GetWokeGetBroke +1221 / -0
143 comments share
143 comments share save hide report block hide replies
Comments (143)
sorted by:
▲ 132 ▼
– Groundpounder 132 points 105 days ago +132 / -0

The door-to-door Verizon salespeople really are relentless

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▲ 62 ▼
– FatBeagleMars 62 points 105 days ago +63 / -1

Solar panel salesmen

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▲ 30 ▼
– Scipio_Americanus 30 points 105 days ago +31 / -1

ADT sales reps

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▲ 30 ▼
– HanginChad 30 points 105 days ago +30 / -0

Girl scouts.

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▲ 23 ▼
– Mintap 23 points 105 days ago +23 / -0

Yeah, I could tell by how they were handling that battering ram.

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▲ 19 ▼
– daveyistheman 19 points 105 days ago +21 / -2

Renewal by Anderson (window salesmen in general)

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▲ 22 ▼
– BerettaStroker 22 points 105 days ago +22 / -0

Fucking Jehovah's Witnesses, lol

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▲ 2 ▼
– SpankyBeans 2 points 105 days ago +3 / -1

Google wanting your birthday info.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Need4Pede 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

Pest Control people here. YOU HAVE AN INFESTATION!

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▲ 25 ▼
– Barbs 25 points 105 days ago +25 / -0

If ADT had smart marketing, they’d quietly break into your house and leave a brochure on the counter.

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▲ 10 ▼
– OneBigMaga 10 points 105 days ago +12 / -2

They would lose a lot of employees that way.

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▲ 5 ▼
– Just_An_Idahoan 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

Not in California, where it's illegal to protect yourself and family.

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▲ 3 ▼
– Gadsden 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Not if they're good!

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▲ 16 ▼
– Liberty4All 16 points 105 days ago +16 / -0

This one hits home. We have always been polite when saying no to salespeople until now. (After all, they are just trying to make a living.) But the solar salespeople have gotten on my last nerve, and their pitches keep getting more and more misleading.

The last guy started out saying he was there "to schedule our upgrade to net metering." I said I wasn't interested and started to walk away, when and he countered with:

"But you don't even know what net metering is!"

I lost it and told him I know exactly what net metering is because salespeople have been at my door every damn week for MONTHS trying to sell us solar. Then I slammed the door in his face. He stood there stunned for a few seconds before shuffling off.

Maybe at least that one solar company will finally take us off their list. I am just about ready to put up not only a "no soliciting" sign but a special sign saying "If you're about to ring my doorbell to sell me a solar set up, just tell yourself to fuck off and save us both some time."

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▲ 3 ▼
– FatBeagleMars 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

They really like it when you say F off biden boy.

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▲ 8 ▼
– FatBeagleMars 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0

Who's the salty man that downvoted me? Regret those panels?

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▲ 6 ▼
– DixMcCoy 6 points 105 days ago +6 / -0

Probably geralt_of_rivia52 or whatever he's up to, now.

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▲ 7 ▼
– FredRedd 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

CAN!

YOU!

HEAR!

ME!

NOW?!!! (Pant-pant-wheeze…)

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▲ 4 ▼
– cbonez416 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

KEK

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▲ 78 ▼
– DrJosephWarren 78 points 105 days ago +78 / -0

I'd be all who iiiiis it?

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▲ 35 ▼
– ShotgunJoe 35 points 105 days ago +36 / -1

Yep, in a mostly peaceful firing position. If you want to make your door kick/battering ram proof, get some 3 1/2” screws and use them to secure the hinges and strike plates to the studs, rather than just the weak door frame. 3 1/2” is long enough to anchor it to the framing surrounding the door, and other than a key or lock picking, there is no way to get through that without a saw/grinder or heavy equipment.

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▲ 33 ▼
– Taliesin 33 points 105 days ago +33 / -0

Added to that, these doors are made of a heavy inflexible plastic, elastic enough for the energy of the impact to be dissipated throughout the whole door, but rigid enough to make the battering ram bounce sharply, giving the holder a nasty case of impact shock.

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▲ 20 ▼
– 20KAG20 20 points 105 days ago +20 / -0

That makes me happy they feel every failed attempted.

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▲ 12 ▼
– Taliesin 12 points 105 days ago +12 / -0

Oh, they feel it until their arms go numb and hang limply by their sides.That's why they had to tag team in short bursts.

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▲ 5 ▼
– TD_Covfefe_Crusader 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

It was very satisfying watching the video. Must watch again.

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▲ 8 ▼
– 20KAG20 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0

You think the strike plates would be strong enough to take that beating?

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▲ 7 ▼
– ShotgunJoe 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

They are based on what I’ve seen. as long as they’re properly fastened to the studs. There are videos showing testing on the gulagtube. Failure is easy when it’s a short screw into a thin door frame, but when you have screws into the framework it’s a completely different animal. You’d have to produce enough force to rip them out sideways, through the stud, framing, the whole works. It’s much harder than one would expect.

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▲ 1 ▼
– wiombims 1 point 104 days ago +2 / -1

Joe hit it just right. 1/4 to 1/2" thick hardened steel rods do wonders too. But they'd get frustrated and either try to rip off the wall with the bearcat/truck or send a flashbang in through your window way before they got tired of playing with your door.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Titanium 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Or get a ton of bungee cords and they can take the door off the hinges but it will snap right back into position.

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▲ 10 ▼
– CaJuN-Polak 10 points 105 days ago +10 / -0

"Keep a knockin', but ya can't come in. Come back tomorrow night and try it again." - Little Richard

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▲ 9 ▼
– Wintergreen 9 points 105 days ago +9 / -0

Old Intercom System Squawks This is Carlton, the doorman. How can I help you?

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▲ 7 ▼
– Skogin 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

LOL! “Wait a moment please, I’m pooooooping.”

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▲ 71 ▼
– YT45 71 points 105 days ago +71 / -0

All it needs is a firing port. Ideally at crotch level.

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▲ 32 ▼
– vargen 32 points 105 days ago +32 / -0

Use the looking glass, cops and swat teams love to cover it up with their hand so they won't see when you dismantle the glass from the inside. Alternatively since this is probably inside of a commie block the apartment most likely have a unnecessary big and long hallway where you can just sit and wait until the door opens, then shoot them.

Or you could just climb out via the fire ladder, which unlike places like NY is probably so discrete they won't even know it exist and forget to cover that exit.

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▲ 4 ▼
– wiombims 4 points 105 days ago +5 / -1

Man, I miss living in the projects with a FOOT of rebar and concrete between me and that kill funnel people call a stairway. That's what's up! Though this one time I left the door unlocked and a crackhead invited himself in and wanted to stay for dinner.

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▲ 3 ▼
– vargen 3 points 104 days ago +3 / -0

That and very thick safety doors, most of Europe and Russia still has most of those neighborhoods, some even with maintenance and some nice park areas below. Felt pretty safe living there too. Used to have a corner apartment so the hallway was about 8m.

If anyone tried to break in there would be enough time to hear the bangs on the door while fetching a shotgun and a chair, then just sit there by the end and wait. They'd be sitting ducks once they storm inside.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Patriot_Dave 2 points 104 days ago +2 / -0

So what did you cook? 😃

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▲ 11 ▼
– EatMyBallsAmerican 11 points 105 days ago +12 / -1

Based and well informed 😂

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▲ 9 ▼
– Pedeberrycrunch 9 points 105 days ago +9 / -0

Couldn't stop thinking of this - tis the season, I suppose

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▲ 4 ▼
– YT45 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Where do you think I got the inspiration?

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▲ 30 ▼
– Pedeberrycrunch 30 points 105 days ago +30 / -0

Seriously, I think a rated R Home Alone sequel would play really well with our generation. Imagine Kevin all growed up, but is living with Bril-level paranoia (from Enemy of the State), is a huge conspiracy buff and has his entire house booby trapped in case Harry and Marv ever return. It could be like Home Alone meets Die Hard meets Law Abiding Citizen.

Someone should tell Elon to get into movie production.

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▲ 15 ▼
– ChelseaHubbell 15 points 105 days ago +15 / -0

marv and harrys kids are now irs agents trying to audit kevin and hijinks ensue

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▲ 8 ▼
– rabbidlemur 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0

My wife was saying they need a modern day update where Kevin set's up his house in preparation of Purge night.

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▲ 7 ▼
– FuckTyranny 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

I'd watch the fuck out of this if it wasn't holyyweird producing it

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▲ 5 ▼
– DixMcCoy 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

MAGAwood

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▲ 1 ▼
– CnnWillBlackmailYou 1 point 105 days ago +2 / -1

That name is taken. It's what I call my cock.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Patriot_Dave 2 points 104 days ago +2 / -0

That fren...is the best idea I've heard in quite awhile. Cheers!

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▲ 4 ▼
– love_and_peace 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Also Kung Fury. Triceracop only shoots people in their privates.

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▲ 3 ▼
– Patriot_Dave 3 points 104 days ago +3 / -0

Whoa! I thought I was the only person that knew about Kung Fury.

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▲ 2 ▼
– love_and_peace 2 points 103 days ago +2 / -0

It was pretty popular in 2015. They were making a sequel (or full length version?) and got Michael Fassbender (magneto) and Schwarzenegger iirc. Last I heard about it was in 2020.

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▲ 3 ▼
– Tuggy_McTuggboat 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Ah yes, the Butters Stotch technique.

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▲ 3 ▼
– MrTexan 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

*a one way firing port.

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▲ 61 ▼
– deleted 61 points 105 days ago +61 / -0
▲ 30 ▼
– mytummyhurts 30 points 105 days ago +30 / -0

Officer Wile E. Coyote falls for it every time.

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▲ 5 ▼
– TD_Covfefe_Crusader 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

Meep meep

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▲ 55 ▼
– PhantomShield72 55 points 105 days ago +55 / -0

"We've been trying to contact you regarding your vehicles extended warranty..."

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▲ 13 ▼
– deleted 13 points 105 days ago +13 / -0
▲ 37 ▼
– clueless_expert 37 points 105 days ago +37 / -0

Guys… it’s unlocked, just turn the knob.

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▲ 31 ▼
– PMSocks 31 points 105 days ago +31 / -0

That ends no knock warrants.

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▲ 1 ▼
– clownworld30330 1 point 104 days ago +1 / -0

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK THUMP THUMP THUMP

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▲ 30 ▼
– deleted 30 points 105 days ago +31 / -1
▲ 27 ▼
– roadrunner0 27 points 105 days ago +27 / -0

Looks to be a 2 1/2 inch thick steel reinforced resin embedded wood door with similar frame material that is lag screwed into a very solid wall framing.. These doors are also breech charge resistant and have a multi-point bar locking system like a vault door that is keyed with a recessed mechanism that has no door handle/knob as an option.. This is what I found, https://www.stashvault.com/reinforced-security-entry-door/

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▲ 5 ▼
– Barthaneous 5 points 105 days ago +6 / -1

thats cool. Doesnt say how much those are. Im guessing over $10,000 ?

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▲ 11 ▼
– __bryan 11 points 105 days ago +11 / -0

Seems like you could almost build your own door for 10k.

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▲ 3 ▼
– roadrunner0 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Requires some skill and patience but absolutely.. We have a fiberglass and wood core front door that I used 5 inch screws all around to install so I don't think it will be easy to breech but if given enough whacks it would fail.. Just kicking or shouldering would never work, better to bust a window or go thru a wall..

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▲ 3 ▼
– roadrunner0 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

With some welding and mechanical skills and a $ few hundred bucks worth of steel and parts you could build your own.. Since Waco we know they have no qualms with ramming a home and burning it to the ground so I don't think an armored door would prevent the inevitable, just delay it so you have time to at least die fighting..

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▲ 1 ▼
– clownworld30330 1 point 104 days ago +1 / -0

You'd need reinforced walls and roof. And then you'd have to deal with being sieged: they'll cut your water, gas, and electric. You'll give up eventually. Unless you have secret tunnels out, but that's pretty unlikely.

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▲ 2 ▼
– roadrunner0 2 points 104 days ago +2 / -0

The tunnel and a few minutes to use its concealed entrance and exit would be a good option unless you want to build a house around a tank that you could drive out and over all their cars as you escape.. Fantasy Fantasy....

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▲ 1 ▼
– clownworld30330 1 point 104 days ago +1 / -0

Ooh, now you're talking.

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▲ 2 ▼
– roadrunner0 2 points 104 days ago +2 / -0

There was a guy in Germany that had a tiger tank in his basement ever since the end of WW-2 that a few years back got discovered and confiscated.. So it could maybe I guess happen..

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▲ 4 ▼
– NavyGuy 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Go figure they are based in south Africa. Big market for reinforced doors down there.

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▲ 25 ▼
– ExileOnRedditStreet 25 points 105 days ago +25 / -0

Dave? Dave's not here.

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▲ 10 ▼
– SteakinEggs 10 points 105 days ago +10 / -0

No. It's me, Dave.

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▲ 7 ▼
– MrTexan 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

candygram

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▲ 2 ▼
– TD_Covfefe_Crusader 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

For Mongo

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▲ 3 ▼
– CnnWillBlackmailYou 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Mongo is just pawn in game of life.

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▲ 19 ▼
– cosmos411 19 points 105 days ago +19 / -0

This is from last year and the person in the apartment was seen outside 10 minutes earlier without a mask on. [shit-comment]

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▲ 8 ▼
– deleted 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0
▲ 3 ▼
– SocialJudgmntWarrior 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

and plastic bottles in his garbage.

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▲ 3 ▼
– QEBL486 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

He also didn’t pay his $35 Portland City Arts tax

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▲ 17 ▼
– BuckeyePatr1ot 17 points 105 days ago +17 / -0

DJ3 - DoorJammer

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▲ 10 ▼
– PMSocks 10 points 105 days ago +10 / -0

Also a hardwood door ...

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▲ 3 ▼
– NavyGuy 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

No way. They didn't even dent or scratch it.

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▲ 14 ▼
– NZ_Pede 14 points 105 days ago +14 / -0

Funnily enough I just watched a video by Eddie Hall doing a promo for some strong ass doors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v34zHuW_uQ

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▲ 6 ▼
– deleted 6 points 105 days ago +6 / -0
▲ 3 ▼
– 67Vert 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Calling the Police, LOL, UK

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▲ 2 ▼
– clownworld30330 2 points 104 days ago +2 / -0

Now all that's left to get us the world be strongest wall, foundation, roof, and windows. Ez

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▲ 14 ▼
– Human1967 14 points 105 days ago +14 / -0

In the UK police just use a Chain saw down the middle of the door

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqfy8bgA-ak&ab_channel=DailyMail

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▲ 14 ▼
– JoePlumber 14 points 105 days ago +14 / -0

easily defeated with one steel bar.

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▲ 11 ▼
– deleted 11 points 105 days ago +11 / -0
▲ 11 ▼
– highenergywinning 11 points 105 days ago +13 / -2

Soy

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▲ 8 ▼
– Pedeberrycrunch 8 points 105 days ago +9 / -1

Seriously. Look at this limp-wristed technique.

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▲ 4 ▼
– highenergywinning 4 points 105 days ago +5 / -1

The second twerp w the skinny pants 🤣 practically knocks himself out haha

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▲ 9 ▼
– Gonnamakeitugly 9 points 105 days ago +9 / -0

Hook that door up to a claymore.

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▲ 7 ▼
– Meister_Bockmist 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

FRONT TOWARD COMMIES

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▲ 8 ▼
– TruthWillOut 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0

It looks and sounds like both the wall, door and door frame are reinforced, to be able to withstand that punishment without cracking.

I like it! 😎👍👍

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▲ 8 ▼
– wintervagina 8 points 105 days ago +8 / -0

Man, these Jehovah Witness people are getting pretty persistent lately. Jeez.

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▲ 7 ▼
– Hombre_Trainee 7 points 105 days ago +7 / -0

How long before the dems want to ban these doors?

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▲ 5 ▼
– DixMcCoy 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

Nobody needs super secure assault-proof security doors!

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▲ 5 ▼
– heeeeeeemeyer 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

Oy, you didn't pay your tv loisense!

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▲ 5 ▼
– chahn1138 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0

We are laughing.

Fuck the Brown Shirts.

Find some Faggots to kneel with Losers!

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▲ 4 ▼
– AndrewLB 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Need to electrify the door for added oomph.

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– deleted 5 points 105 days ago +5 / -0
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– deleted 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0
▲ 4 ▼
– deleted 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0
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– deleted 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0
▲ 2 ▼
– Titanium 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

Or just spray mineral oil into the hall, and watch them act like the 3 stooges for a bit.

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▲ 4 ▼
– jimmy42oh 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

We just wanted to remind you that your extended vehicle warranty is up.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Caliblanco 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Raiders of the Lost Laptop

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▲ 4 ▼
– suzookus 4 points 105 days ago +4 / -0

Was probably some kit like this:

https://doorarmor.com/collections/all/products/door-armor-pro-single-door-kit-select-mini-or-plus

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▲ 1 ▼
– wolfygirl2 1 point 105 days ago +1 / -0

Oh I need this!

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▲ 3 ▼
– Kumalasbreakfast99 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

The brand of that door is placebo. It is actually a cement wall supporting it.

The real entrance is around the back...

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▲ 3 ▼
– cbonez416 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Keep swinging asshoeS!! Lol I hope your shoulders fall out and you need life changing surgery.

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▲ 3 ▼
– OneAngryPede 3 points 105 days ago +3 / -0

Good start, but it should be calling them faggots each time they ram it.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Testosteroneape2000 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

It’s the BBC t v license inspectors.

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▲ 2 ▼
– tiamat 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

Probably easier to go thro drywall and sheetrock instead

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▲ 1 ▼
– yudsfpbc 1 point 104 days ago +1 / -0

I've been thinking I need 2" steel around the lower half of my outside walls.

I don't know what the R value is of steel, but I would like to be able to take cover.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Habu 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

Can anyone see a doorknob?

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– deleted 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0
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– Keiichi81 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

When you don't even need to shoot at the gestapo because they all had heart attacks trying to break down your door.

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▲ 2 ▼
– R3tro 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0

Reminds me of that clip from the movie airplane… where they all line up to smack the shit out of that lady freaking out… cops tapping on each other be like, lemme try

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– deleted 2 points 105 days ago +2 / -0
View 17 more comments

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