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Comments (98)
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65
jpower 65 points ago +65 / -0

I really wish Harrison Ford was as manly and American as he acts in some of his films.

26
GuerillaYourDreams 26 points ago +26 / -0

I actually hear he’s a very effeminate fagola in real life.

4
PhilosoGuido 4 points ago +4 / -0

And not much of a pilot either. He landed on a taxiway with airliners on it instead of the runway.

https://www.avweb.com/news/nbc-harrison-ford-lands-on-taxiway/

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xBigCoffinHunter 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ford ain’t making the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

3
OPsMom 3 points ago +3 / -0

He also crashed a plane back in 2015 or 2016.

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PhilosoGuido 1 point ago +1 / -0

I think they blamed that on a fuel system malfunction, so I will cut him some slack on that one. But the landing on a taxiway, overtop a 737 no less is one of the dumbest mistakes a pilot can make.

22
Formerlurker92 22 points ago +22 / -0

Then he wouldn't be allowed anywhere near films

20
logan34 20 points ago +20 / -0

He likely was in the 70s and 80s, dude was snorting coke and banging every actress with two holes and a heart beat.

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trumpORbust 7 points ago +7 / -0

Two hole exclusionist... Like a womxn with no mouth?!?!

3
Ghost_of_Kekistan 3 points ago +6 / -3

I think he means a "front hole" and a "back hole", since everyone has a "face hole".🙄

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buck-breaker 5 points ago +5 / -0

Penises have holes too, so that's not inclusive enough. "Double front hole" would be less bigoted imo.

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fusreedah 3 points ago +3 / -0

Does not everyone have a "back hole"??

-2
PackOfRedApples -2 points ago +1 / -3

Could you imagine going down on a front hole and then having to pick hair out of your teeth

-3
becky21k1 -3 points ago +3 / -6

Or he was thinking of the Andrew Dice Clay bit "two tits, a hole and a heartbeat" and forgot the tits.

1
Indianapede2 1 point ago +1 / -0

He’s always been a liberal democrat like his parents. Big climate change guy.

16
FromSethWithLove 16 points ago +17 / -1

Harrison Ford is a huge faggot

16
citizen667 16 points ago +16 / -0

Not the world’s best pilot.

15
OGpsywar 15 points ago +15 / -0

Scruffy-looking too.

17
citizen667 17 points ago +17 / -0

He’s def a nerfherder.

10
FredRedd 10 points ago +10 / -0

WHO’s scruffy looking?

7
PaigeAshley 7 points ago +7 / -0

100% wish the same...

40
SirBuzzKillingtonVI 40 points ago +40 / -0

And he shoots first.

14
CrustySockpuppet 14 points ago +14 / -0

Was just scrolling, looking for the first person to mention this! Kek

7
DixMcCoy 7 points ago +8 / -1

Ditto.

I saw that 'muh mod sticky' about 'violent talk' and I was gonna say 'and he shoots first - we ought to be like Han' but I suppose I can't anymore? Guess I'm a glowie or some shit. 🙄

9
Homemade-Soap 9 points ago +9 / -0

It's not shooting first if you're the only one who shoots.

1
xBigCoffinHunter 1 point ago +1 / -0

Shooting first is a key step in making sure you’re the only one who shoots. Poor Greedo got caught in a monologue

1
BroadSunlitUplands 1 point ago +2 / -1

Especially illegal aliens

1
TheOutlawPepeWales 1 point ago +1 / -0

That's the Bush Doctrine. Do unto your enemies before they can do unto you.

30
PaigeAshley 30 points ago +30 / -0

Original Han Solo was perfect. Badass, fun and has a fantastic character arc.

28
Formerlurker92 28 points ago +28 / -0

And then... Disney

27
PaigeAshley 27 points ago +27 / -0

I refuse to accept or acknowledge anything Disney has done with SW to be Canon.

19
Prussian_Pepe 19 points ago +19 / -0

I agree completly. They took 30 years of cannon lore and flushed it down the shitter. Sold off Lucasarts and gave gaming right to satanic EA games. And then made maddening half-assed progressive propaganda wanna-be-fan-fics (if you can even call them that, the lore is so far off it might as well be it's own universe) into full movies. They are trash, and deserve nothing but detest and resentment.

10
FredRedd 10 points ago +10 / -0

I’ll go one further; I refuse to accept or acknowledge anything done with SW after Empire Strikes Back to be Canon.

4
ShadowyMrBlank 4 points ago +4 / -0

Return of the Jedi definitely has its problems, but I think it's a worthy enough Star Wars movie.

3
BewareOfThePug 3 points ago +4 / -1

The prequels were at least consistent, and III tied up most loose ends

7
BobTheBarbarian2112 7 points ago +7 / -0

Consistent how? Yoda was Obi-Wan's teacher, not Qui-Gon. Leia vaguely remembered her mother she didn't die in childbirth. The Jedi were all killed about 20 years before the events in SW, how come no one remembers them? That officer Vader force-chokes on the Death Star looked to be mid to late thirties, he was alive when the Jedi slaughter happened. He also was alive, albeit a child, during the Clone Wars; it seems like everyone forgot them in less than a generation. I could go on but you get the idea.

1
Gonzotron5000 1 point ago +1 / -0

Thats a sad SW fan.

1
SteelMonkey 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lots of good books pre-prequels.

4
Gonzotron5000 4 points ago +4 / -0

7, 8, and 9 were abominations. Rogue One was great. Mandalorian and Boba fett were really good. I have a bad feeling about Obiwan though.

6
I_Love_45-70_Gov 6 points ago +6 / -0

Rogue One was very well done; however, after that shitfest with tha angry, blue-haired feminist space lady, and the confused emo-asian boy-girl....I'm out.

2
easyonthefiber 2 points ago +2 / -0

What made Rogue One one of the better Disney Star Wars movies is that it benefitted from "The Titanic" effect. We knew the ending, and everyone dies.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
buck-breaker 1 point ago +1 / -0

Obiwan will probably be a complete embarrassment like Picard has been

1
2Fangz 1 point ago +1 / -0

Boba Fett sucked.

Worst crime boss ever. And those cyber surgery kids are Disney's stand-ins for trannies.

2
xBigCoffinHunter 2 points ago +2 / -0

I liked Rogue One. Don’t shoot me.

2
Dallasguy 2 points ago +2 / -0

George Lucas fucked Han up waaaaay before Disney.

2
ObamasLooseButthole 2 points ago +2 / -0

Tbf in the new shit trilogy he is the one to point out that “that’s not how the force works” when someone thinks the force can solve all of their problems.

2
Hawksendoom 2 points ago +2 / -0

When he was a carpenter

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FromSethWithLove 17 points ago +17 / -0

Shoot first, is what I'm hearing

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deleted 15 points ago +16 / -1
5
PaigeAshley 5 points ago +5 / -0

I miss that guy...

4
Pissed_American 4 points ago +4 / -0

I once saw Hope Asshole Solo. I mean Hope Solo's Asshole.

12
hillaryprison 12 points ago +12 / -0

But Harrison Ford is a leftist cuck. Don't be like him.

10
bigdickhangsright 10 points ago +10 / -0

Wikipedia is going hard in the paint for this faggot

His younger brother, Terence, was born in 1945.[11] Their father was a Catholic of German and Irish descent,[9] while their mother was an Ashkenazi Jew whose parents were emigrants from Minsk, Belarus, then in the Russian Empire.[9][12] When asked in which religion he and his brother were raised, Ford jokingly responded "Democrat"[13] and more seriously stated that they were raised to be "liberals of every stripe".[14] When asked about what influence his Jewish and Irish Catholic ancestry may have had on him, he quipped, "As a man I've always felt Irish, as an actor I've always felt Jewish."[15][16][17]

5
citizen667 5 points ago +5 / -0

His success in Hollywood is remarkable for a Catholic of German and Irish descent.

3
MoreTorbaLessKushner 3 points ago +6 / -3

At least he was honest lol.

I guess it's good that he feels more Irish/Catholic than Jewish. Ford wasn't really born into privilege. He was a carpenter, and I believe he actually met George Lucas while working on a studio building. He was first cast for a small role in American Graffiti, and then later helped Lucas cast people for Star Wars. He was a stand-in for Han Solo, reading the character's lines to the actors in rehearsals but was eventually just given the role out of convenience. Little did he know, he struck gold.

1
Archdukeofevil 1 point ago +1 / -0

The worst part is he hates the role and the movie that made him famous.

2
2Fangz 2 points ago +2 / -0

"As a man I've always felt Irish, as an actor I've always felt Jewish."

That's just good business sense in Hollywood. They love a handsome caucasian-appearing jew. Elevates the race.

9
ExileOnRedditStreet 9 points ago +9 / -0

Never forget u/hanassholesolo either.

8
RedFoxOnFire 8 points ago +8 / -0

And don't forget, Han shot first.

8
PepePinochet 8 points ago +8 / -0

Also shoots first

6
Snack_Destroyer 6 points ago +6 / -0

And he participated in 11776 B.C.

4
Error404 4 points ago +4 / -0

A long long time ago…

6
ModelMinority 6 points ago +6 / -0

And not the fucking Disney Han Solo.

5
airborne3502 5 points ago +5 / -0

When the doors opened in Cloud City, and Darth Vader was sitting there, he shot first then too.

Badass.

5
IBentMyWookie 5 points ago +5 / -0

He also shot first. Be like Han.

5
Ghostof_PatrickHenry 5 points ago +5 / -0

{comment got deleted by mods, so I'm reposting because LIGMA}

The real Han Solo was John Paul Jones.

International fugitive (wrongfully accused by rich British lords) turned war hero. A merchant seamen who once ran supplies for the Empire until he fell out of favor. A native-born Scotsman who harbored more contempt for the English than any colonist could ever understand. Hunted by the Empire, pursued into the frontier of the New World. Struck by severe illness, taken in by [colonial] strangers, hidden and protected by a good family-- the Jones Family of North Carolina. (Hidden under the floorboards, as soldiers searched their home for him.) John Paul was so touched by their kindness, that he adopted their surname for himself.

Arguably the most skilled pilot in the known world. Disobeyed the wishes of his superiors in the rebel faction, piloting a single ship into the heart of the enemy camp, attacking them at their home. Raided their coastline, burned their ship-depot, and when confronted by a patrol of larger ships, attacked them head-on, captured the flag-ship's captain, and took the flag-ship as his prize.

As his ship sank, burning and intertwined with the enemy flag-ship, the deck drenched in so much blood and guts that nobody could stand without slipping, the enemy captain called on Jones to surrender, and save the lives of his remaining crew. Jones lit a hand-grenade, screamed out, "I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT," as he leaped and tossed the grenade into the enemy's gun battery (where the gun powder was stored). Hundreds watched on the cliffs of Dover as this epic battle took place in the English Chanel, but they say that you could hear the explosion all the way from London.

When Jones sailed the enemy's ship into the Netherlands (neutral territory), he flew a flag that had never before been seen--one that Jones himself had made, featuring a field of stars and stripes. International law stated that any ship without a flag would be considered a pirate ("enemy of mankind"), and because Jones was sailing a ship that was registered to the British Royal Navy (clearly stolen) he was branded a pirate and sentenced to death.

Fortunately for Jones, an old friend was nearby in France, on an important diplomatic mission to secure allies for the cause. While Jones had offended many of the colonial politicians with his defiant attitude, and cavalier antics, this particular diplomat had been impressed with Jones' conviction and dedication to the cause.

The old diplomat traveled to the Dutch Republic to personally secure Jones' freedom, and in return, Jones named his next ship (gifted to him by the French) after his savior's most famous published work-- the USS Bonhomme Richard (French for "The Good Richard").

This was of course a reference to "Poor Richard's Almanac," a pamphlet that was published annually and critical to the success of the American farmer, published by "Richard Saunders"-- the pseudonym of Benjamin Franklin.

3
mightyclaw 3 points ago +3 / -0

Damn! Where's HIS fucking mini-series!?

5
rapsheet1mile 5 points ago +5 / -0

And he shoots first, too!

5
Ghost_of_Kekistan 5 points ago +5 / -0

Post this meme over at r/StarWars and see how far it goes! 😁

4
Songofsixpence 4 points ago +4 / -0

Anyone posted this on any SW subs yet?

3
WedgeSerif 3 points ago +3 / -0

Also, SHOOT FIRST.

3
TaxDollarsHardAtWork 3 points ago +3 / -0

He also shoots alien scum with impunity. j/s

3
Dallasguy 3 points ago +3 / -0

Han also shoots first.

3
Syvril 3 points ago +3 / -0

Are you saying to shoot first?

3
deleted 3 points ago +4 / -1
3
Foletado 3 points ago +3 / -0

He only opposed the Empire to get big money or to save his friends.

-- at least in A New Hope.

3
ObamasLooseButthole 3 points ago +3 / -0

A true capitalist. He knew the power of the dollar.

3
Rock 3 points ago +3 / -0

The soy army thinks they are the rebellion. The reality is they are good citizens of the empire, following orders and narcing on their neighbors

3
SolidSnakeOil 3 points ago +3 / -0

He also shoots first, no matter what a stupid edit 20 years later says.

2
Sunnybats3 2 points ago +6 / -4

This is my favorite Star Track character, aside from that LatinX BBW mobster who just lays around feeding slaves to the rancor all day.

3
Archdukeofevil 3 points ago +3 / -0

I can't believe people downvoted this awesome post.

1
Sunnybats3 1 point ago +1 / -0

Um uh sigh figh expert.

2
skywalkingmaga 2 points ago +2 / -0

👌

2
mightyclaw 2 points ago +2 / -0

The Han character was also railing the Princess character, as the actor portraying Han was railing the actress portraying the Princess.

2
DrTar 2 points ago +2 / -0

Han shots first.

1
MythArcana 1 point ago +1 / -0

These actors ruined Star Wars for me forever.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
FredRedd 1 point ago +1 / -0

And Han fires first.

1
eupraxia128 1 point ago +1 / -0

Also shoot first.

1
RabidNemo 1 point ago +1 / -0

People like to bitch about the politics in Star Wars but the ultimate message showed how corrupt politicians can have terrible influence throughout the entire populace. Think about it a Galaxy wide civil War was started over taxation of trade routes and a blockade. Now consider this the EU is essentially the trade federation and they've been off and on wanting their own army for the last little bit. Factor in the situation with Ukraine where there's separatists and this starts to get rather interesting

0
PackOfRedApples 0 points ago +1 / -1

I'm pro empire