Hi, right off the bat I'm sorry. Also though as much as I would love a step by step "for dummies", if you will, let me just say I would equally love many replies each with nuggets. I'm of a personality type that collects all the data, even useless, then sort thru for what I need. In this case I need it all. I've been meaning to wrtie this for a very long time. Well when "TheDonald" was all we had. I just didn't wanna bother anyone. Since I've never had an issue with asking for help I'm finally asking. My problem, I need it all.
I live in a small town in a "fly overstate". My options are limited so are my resources. I'm very self sufficient & resourceful. The kind of person that'd be useful in a "zombie Apocalypse" but since we're not quite there I'm just someone learning stuff for projects that take up all my time.
Back when I was a kid I loved science & tech. But as a young adult science became "Science" & abandoned me & my poor lil surf brain. Tech became something I could no longer "reconcile" so I left it all to drown my future into a meaningless life & went to sleep.
Although I loved computers as a kid & even learned as much as I could it was the early 80's & I was poor. I even learned how to make computer animations before pixar was known. I used to make logos & business letterhead/bus cards etc on the side before windows was a thing. That being said the 15 years that followed I tried to fry any knowledge I had previously known. Successfully I might add because "c:" is all that remains.
I had a cell phone once in my mid 20's but cingular charged my 1st bill every min of every day for one month. That ended that. I dabbled in photoshop, had a myspace for a week & used facebook as an old fashioned "message board". Meaning I would "hang a note" then eventually come back for a reply note. Since I was as irresponsible as they come this was how my family knew I was alive. I loved the internet though for the only purpose I used w/any regularity was to "google". I "googled" anything & everything "data data give it meee"!
Perhaps because it wasn't everyday I noticed changes. Ex: when googles results now came after ads. Then after almost a page of ads. Then the results we off a little like at 1st it was the result with the most in common w/ur question. Now it was the most clicked then more in common so sometimes it wasn't relevant at all. So on & so forth.
Okay, sorry. 2015 I wake slowly but surely. Never having been on twitter, reddit, 4chan, 8chan, instgram, even youtube. Never posted something private, taken a pic of my food, taken a selfie you get it. I knew about anonymous & kinda secretly hoped they would save the world. I had noticed after getting a "smartphone" that google apps were already there & I coudnt delete them (this pissed me off). Very quickly dove into everything & just as quickly realized we had censorship. Angry that I was only then learning we secretly lived in Chy-na I tried to "learn up".
Well it is very possibly that I went too fast & hurt myself. I was taking everything from anywhere I wanted to know all the things that I ignored. Watched things that broke me. Learned truths that sometimes I wish they were lies & I was just crazy. Tried to share to no avail. This was the straw. I had a nervous breakdown & have not been right sense. Im still me, still the same but my brain doesnt work the same. I loose time like crazy like a slow clock. I cant retain info in the short term like before the way you do when your learning. I can no longer finish anything or see it through.
I have done searches, downloaded, read tried, tried& failed every privacy thing possible. I dont fully grasp any of it really. I know the gist like ip being like my devices fingerprint & its location is my router. Vpn would lie to prying eyes & say rather Im so & so from denmark. I know Im a noob. I have wanted to root my android but Im afriad to brick it. Ive never been on the deep web for research cuz Im scared to come across child porn. I know to save things of importance offline. I have watched pirated movies although I no longer partake of Hollywood in any way shape or form. I have burned a mixed cd or 2 back in the day. I still type using 5 fingers on 2 hands. I know what omg, idk, imo,irl,but that is prob the extent of that list. I have a chromebook because when I purchased it I didn' know it was just a big cell phone with a keyboard. I have downloaded linux, ubuntu, tor on it. I did the dual so it was still a chrome os. I used it kind of successfully. The thing is since I don't have much $ to spare & even less understanding the entire privacy thing is not in my vocabulary. I used to say "I don't care who am I hiding from anyways" but now I understand because I can't do anything online anymore.
I have not been able to get on video.maga.host for aprox 6 weeks. I have spent HOURS attempting everything noting works not even on any other device I have access to in any other location. Not to mention even though I have "updates" & anything else similar to be done manually or not at all I keep coming home to find my devices completely wiped. A few times so wiped I could not even long in as anything other than a guest including "new user". The only good thing about any of this is I have routinely stored everything offline, & there is a lot.
So, my request for anyone still reading this is please help me. I will take anything you have to give. even just a link. Beggars can't be choosers & I am begging. I want to root my phone or do anything to it that lets me decide what I do & don't want. I want to do the same to my laptop. I also know my wifi is prob part of the prob. Is it a really big part? If so then what do I need instead. I want a desktop but need funds first what would be my best lest expensive option but not ness the cheapest. VPN what is it, how does it work, does it work, who is best all around? Just for research I dont play video games anymore or download movie I only research thats it so whatever for that purpose. My bf does do those things but he's still asleep & refuses anything I say so I no longer say anything. If he wants a vpn for movies he can figure it out. I want to use a browser & search engine that does not censor at all. duckduckgo does I can tell & firefox acts suspect too. I loahe 404! I want to understand coding basics like whats http, https, html, whats all the stuff in the developer menu about? What is a server exactly or hosting & whats open source all about? These types of things & more. Anything & everything, please overwhelm me, I need it. But from where I stand w/what I have & the internet I am "allowed" to use there is soooo much & often conflicting info. I know many on here have tech running through their veins (metaphorically I hope) so this stuff is like breathing. I hope that something I wrote is something you wouldn't mind sharing. Like I said it can be winded extremely detailed on 1 part of one question or a link to a site that covers a topic. I don;'t care I'll take it all. I just want reliable answers coming from a place of actual desire to assist me in this struggle. My intention is to download & prob print for reference. I want to learn it all.
Im at my wits end. Im sick of being silenced. I can not longer stand being told what information & may & may not have. And I am just done with my inability to tackle this problem w/my broken defiant brain. I am begging PLEASE for the love of God someone help me I feel abandoned & alone, trapped in a box & my only source of light is a crack that as we speak is being plastered. Im soory for the length & the drama but I am in no way exaggerating. Thank you.