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posted ago by Sgtt ago by Sgtt +24 / -2

Said she loved and respected me and asked me to leave for a couple days to think about what I wanted to do while she cares for the kids. so here I am at a bar two states away celebrating a buddies birthday. Trying not get down about it all, I keep getting hit on, but I'm not interested. We haven't spoken since I left a day ago and just could use her voice right now, but I don't want to break the silence first.

It's been a long road and a degrading relationship with both parties at fault. Sad part is with life and responsibilities gone, we get along great. With it back, we fight like cats and dogs.

I pray we choose god and keep our home for the kids.

UPDATE:

After a long while to think and plenty of kicks in the balls by you mad lads, I drove my happy ass 8 hours straight home to that woman, sat her down, and figured it the fuck out. Told her we either liquidate everything and start anew or give us a chance to be the husband and wife we and the kids deserve. Said I refused to do therapy for past life shit, but willing to do it to learn how to work better together. Shit or get off the pot. We both chose to work for it.

Sorry for this stupid shit, but was definitely the lowest point of my life.

Comments (30)
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deleted 22 points ago +22 / -0
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Sgtt [S] 10 points ago +10 / -0

Right in the nuts. Good talk

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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johnmic07 15 points ago +17 / -2

The problem is you're listening to feminism to tell you how to be a husband. You leave for a few days because she told you to. You do what you're wife tells you to. She fights with you because you aren't leading the family confidently. By arguing she is testing the strength of your convictions and then when you agree with her to end the fight, it just confirms that you either don't know what you're doing or that you don't really care. You need to start doing what you think is best for the family instead of just doing whatever your wife tells you to do like a faggot. She probably told you to leave because she needed a few days alone to get fucked by a tinder date. You need to get home and stop that from happening.

You also seem way too emotional, and I imagine that when you fight you get super upset. You are a man, not a pmsing woman. You're capable of controlling your emotions and you need to do it. You shouldn't be completely losing your temper just because she says something mean during a fight.

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contribulation 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's good to see the red pill spreading around.

Once you see it you can't unsee it.

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johnmic07 1 point ago +1 / -0

I don't agree with everything in red pill like the glorification of hookup culture, hatred of women, and encouragement of divorce. But it's great in its condemnation of feminist ideas and embrace of masculinity.

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contribulation 1 point ago +1 / -0

The red pill doesn't teach to hate women. It teaches men to understand them.

It doesn't encourage divorce but it does discourage marriage in light of western laws and court leanings against men.

Red pillers enjoy women and black pillers hate women.

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ChickNorris 11 points ago +11 / -0

Without knowing the details and not asking you to divulge I just wanted to comment on this

We haven't spoken since I left a day ago and just could use her voice right now, but I don't want to break the silence first.

Give her a day or two but forget this not wanting to break the silence first stuff. That kind of stuff isn't going to help repair your marriage and you have kids involved here.

I'm not saying call her and bug the mess out of her, definitely don't do that. But maybe give it 24 hours and when you're sober call or text a message just saying I want to hear your voice or I miss you or anything that's not pushy but lets her know you aren't checking out while you are still giving her space.

I wish you both the best.

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YourOwnGreatGrandma 5 points ago +5 / -0

Read chapter 10 of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules For Life

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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Ghost68 4 points ago +4 / -0

If yall are still fighting yall both still care. There is obviously something between yall wrong that yall can't see bro. Get a few outside perspectives and figure out a way to work it out

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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LyvK01 3 points ago +4 / -1

I'm so sorry to here this. Based on the last sentence, I assume you two are religious? Perhaps when you get back, make it known to your wife that your relationship must center on God, and build up from there. That's all the advice I feel qualified to give. I'm praying for you two. ❤️

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Spicy_Spine 3 points ago +3 / -0

As a married lady, I don’t know exactly why you all fight, bu I can tell you that what frustrates me the most is not having support. That means helping around the house, financial stability and/ or a secure future. So, I appreciate when my husband takes on projects and tasks around the house without me having to ask (I don’t always like to ask because it might sound like nagging). I also need to hear my husband make clear plans for the future and make wise/ sensible financial decisions. Your wife is asking for a break from you because she wants you to think about what your life would be like without your family. She wants you to take things seriously. If she wanted you gone, she’d kick you out permanently. But this is a test. She wants you to value home life more than whatever else it is you’re doing. That’s my intuition.

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twistedstitches 2 points ago +2 / -0

Get your ass home. How are you supposed to reconcile out of the home, let alone states away drunk with buddies. What a terrible example you are setting for your children, who are at home confused and stuck with an emotional tampon of a mother who booted their father from their home.

You pray you choose God? He already chose you buddy. Now honor Him and your family by going home and fixing this nonsense. Go home. Stay home. Call a therapist and get an appointment set up. Go to church, or if you’re already a member, tell your pastors your troubles.

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Chosimbaone 2 points ago +2 / -0

A lot of good advice in here. I'd like to add that if you guys are religious, go as a couple and talk to your pastor / priest. Helping married couples resolve things is literally part of their job. And having a disinterested third party help you guys communicate will go a long way. It takes some pride swallowing, but it's usually a good idea in the end.

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I_trigger_faggots 2 points ago +2 / -0

My ex pulled the same stunt on me. When I came back a few days later the locks were changed. I never set foot in that house again.

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contribulation 1 point ago +1 / -0

Buy the book "The Rational Male."

Read it.

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Artek 1 point ago +1 / -0

Good job keeping it together. Nothing worth keeping is ever earned easily.

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PostyMcGee 1 point ago +1 / -0

I've seen several book recommendations on reddit while browsing various forums over time that looked good for a place to start. I would maybe ask the relationship, marriage, and divorce subreddits for recommendations. yeah I know, Reddit, but there are some helpful resources there. As for counseling it can be very hit and miss. A bad counselor can do more harm than good. Studies show that people who divorce tend to not be any happier I think 2 or 5 years out, as opposed to those who stayed married, who's happiness did improve. It's better to stay married, especially for the kids. Resolve to work on it, really work on it and not revert to bad behaviors, that's all you can do. It takes two though, these things are never one sided and you'll have to see if your wife is willing too. i wish you the best.

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Paleo 1 point ago +1 / -0

Stay strong, brother! We're here for you.

In the future, posts like this are better in c/General... But don't worry about that right now. Just know this community supports you and loves you. Let us know whatever you need.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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Paleo 1 point ago +1 / -0

We're still prioritizing freedom of speech. Plus, being on the .win network kind of feels like 'brothers in arms'

We really don't want to lose sight of the main goals of this place due to some internal drama from a different forum.

Feel free to post general comments there too balance it out. Next time you find a good recipe or hear a good song, post it!

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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CrouchingKamala 1 point ago +1 / -0

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. It's natural to feel freed of life and responsibilities when you let them go, and most everyone does a bit from time to time, but that isn't the same thing as running away from responsibilities or letting things slip in a desire to be away from those responsibilities. Life is hard and sometimes comes with difficult choices and decisions that warrant more maturity than people are prepared for or willing to give. When there are children involved, their needs should supercede that of their parents in having a safe and copacetic household that provides for their mental, emotional, and physical well being. I hope you two can find a way to restabilize your home for your children's sake. Life is precious, and fleeting.

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krzyzowiec 1 point ago +1 / -0

What’s the conflict about? Why would you leave for a few days? If it’s your house, why would you agree to do that?

There is too little information to say anything useful here.

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free-will-of-choice 0 points ago +3 / -3

with life and responsibilities gone...we get along great.

It's that ignorance right there causing the consequences thereof. Life equals responsibility over self sustenance aka choice of need over want. If your needs are gone; you're dead, so you're in conflict upon wants (temptation in ignorance of needs).

Did you two come together to make those kids (choice of procreation aka need); or did those kids come to be as a result of you being together (choice of lust aka want)? It was that choice you two build your balance upon, and you writing "she cares for the kids" implies that you don't comprehend the need for procreation for the sustenance of self yet; otherwise you both would comprehend that you're responsible for the propagation of a now shared bloodline aka the shared sustenance of self.

I pray we choose god and keep our home for the kids.

This implies contradicting choices of ignorance towards self...a) religion (to bind anew); b) Christianity (mind over body) and c) materialism (body over mind).

Body and mind represent the natural opposites in coexistence with each other; in-between which you balance the sustenance of self, which represents the original bond; before you choose to bind yourself anew (religion) to the suggestions (-isms) made by others.

Home equals shelter for form within flow, and the sustenance of form within it requires adaptation to flow.

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Jmradioman -8 points ago +1 / -9

Do you want to be married more than you want to be right? You only have to do two things.

  1. Ask he what she wants
  2. Fucking do it

That is it.

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0